Our school meeting went…surprisingly well. The VP spoke to my daughter like she was a human being, and made her feel like she is part of the decision about how to manage her phone use at school.
She’s happy with the result. Whether it is helpful remains to be seen – but I know that her buying in is more than half the battle.
So the solution is this: When a teacher sees her using her phone inappropriately, they will casually walk by and place a hand on her desk. A non-verbal cue, so that she doesn’t feel singled out. Her job then will be to put it away.
The final thought left with her this meeting was that she has control over what happens next. If it goes well, then there will be no need to change anything. If not, she knows that things will escalate. But, whether or not they escalate is up to her.
It’s a compromise between her phone being a tool to cope with anxiety, and it being a hindrance to schoolwork.