Today was my first official day of being a full-time working single mom. Full-time in the 9 to 5 work sense. I have my kids every second week these days.
The first four years, when I was finding my sea legs no longer being married, I had them 80% of the time. It was best this way as my kids were in the house they’d always know. My ex had left me (in an awful, epic way that I will one day write about) and moved out, and I was hell-bent on keeping things as stable as possible for the kids while their dad had his midlife crisis.
Once I stopped crying (and it wasn’t long) I started making my new life. I went back to school and made a career shift. I started working part-time while I was in school. There was no way I could work full-time while having the kids 80% of the time, not with one of them having special needs. (Yes, I know, there are parents who do this because they have to- I’m just saying I didn’t have to so I didn’t.)
Recently though I got the opportunity to up my hours at work to full-time and I went for it. If not now, then when?
Anyhow, today is day one of that gig. I wish I could say it was easy, but if anything it was a bit of a gong show.
First off, I wake up late (fuck you, Seroquel). I forget to give the girl her ADHD meds. On the way to school I realize this but she doesn’t want me to go back home because then she’d be late. I get to work, start training this new woman and I get a phone call from my lawyer. We had an appointment, and I’d forgotten to put it in my calendar. Fuck! I have to leave work early to take the girl to the doctor. She tells me she feels no different not being on her meds (she’s told me this a few times). Discuss with dr, who suggests we go off of it for awhile to see what happens, fingers crossed.
I come home, the house is a disaster. What I really want to do is have a glass of wine on the porch to unwind, but I am going to try my best to drop the weight I have gained since being depressed/going on Seroquel (again, fuck you Seroquel). I instead pour myself a grapefruit Perrier on ice – a healthy choice, go me! And I sit and purge my brains out here for half an hour before embarking on the dinner/homework/chores journey for the day.
Four more days. Four.